When I was much, much younger, I had a crush on someone. Not an unusual state of affairs, but in this particular instance, the person had a crush on me as well, and we began a romantic relationship. I remember telling one of my friends about it, and she didn’t seem enthusiastic. When I attempted to discover why, she asked me “What’s their last name?”
I couldn’t answer.
Her point, of course, was that I didn’t really know this person and had no business being in a relationship with them. I didn’t know even basic information about them; I was more infatuated with who I thought they were, than who they actually were.
Believe it or not, something similar often happens with God. People often think they know God, when in reality they are missing something basic about Him and don’t really know Him at all.
“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love” (1 John 4:8, ESV).
There are two key words in this passage: “know” and “love.” Regarding what it means to “know”, the Greek word that is used, which I will transliterate to “ginosko,” is used in a variety of contexts with various implications, but in my opinion, there is definitely an implication of more than surface knowledge. First, because “understand” is one of the suggested definitions, and to understand something means to have a certain level of knowledge. Second, because ginosko is also a Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse, which is a very intimate act and implies a deeper familiarity with a person. With that knowledge, I would interpret the use of this word as referring to a deeper relationship.
The English meaning of “know” supports this idea. One of the results of googling “know definition” is “have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with.” The key word is “relationship;” not just knowing things about a person, but actually knowing them. Not just having met them once, but spending time with them regularly enough to establish a friendship.
The second key word is “love.” The Greek word agape is used twice in this verse; after all we’ve learned in this series, it is no surprise to be told that God is sacrificial love. What is new is to be told that anyone who does not also love sacrificially does not know God. Knowing God does not mean feeling affection, or not merely feeling affection, but focusing on others and acting in their best interests. The love that is spoken of in this passage is other-centered, not self-centered; relational, not transactional or conditional.
Love is not just an action that God performs, but is at the core of His very being; it is His nature, character, defining attribute. For this reason, anyone who does not also love does not know God. How can they, when they do not understand or practice something that is so central to who God is? Those who love, know God; verse 7 says “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” You cannot know God without love, but love is also from God; through a genuine relationship with God, believers are transformed and enabled to love others. Knowing God means you love others, and loving others serves as a sign of your knowing God.
Love is a choice, not just an emotion. The more you choose to act in love, the more you come to know love, and therefore, to know God. As you continue to choose love, you will come to feel love as well. If you let it, love will transform you and your life completely. It’s not necessarily an easy thing to do, but on the other hand, you don’t have to do it alone; the more time you spend with God, the deeper your relationship with Him goes, the more you come to know Him, the easier it will be to love others. Knowing God and loving others aren’t two separate things, but are inseparably entwined. As John 15:4-5 say, “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing” (ESV). As you abide in Christ, you will come to bear fruit, including the fruit of love.
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