She thought I would say no.

That thought came to me with startling clarity as I looked at the young woman standing in front of me. Once upon a time, we were good friends, more like siblings than housemates; we’d had a rather severe falling out, gone our separate ways, and hadn’t seen each other in quite some time. Now we were in the same laundromat after dark, trying to finish up our laundry before the place closed. She had approached me, clearly hesitant, and asked for a favor. I agreed without thinking much about it; it was a small favor she was asking, wouldn’t take much time or effort, and I had no reason to decline. But by the look on her face, I could tell she had thought that I would.

What does that say about me, I wondered, that someone who I once was so close to not only hesitated to ask me for a favor, to do a simple task, but expected me to say no?

I am self-aware enough to know I am not always the kindest, most helpful person I could be; the verse we are going to study in this post is one I think about often, and have to work very hard to even have a chance of fulfilling.

“You shall not take vengeance, nor hold any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:18, NASB).

The first part of this passage is important; I don’t mean to diminish or ignore it. However, it is the second part of this passage, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” that we want to focus on today. On the surface, the meaning of this text is simple: love others as you love yourself. That is, care for and behave towards others as you would towards yourself. While that is indeed one meaning of this verse, a closer examination of the text reveals a deeper message.

In Leviticus 19:18, the word that is translated as “love” is אָהַבְתָּ (ahavata), which has אהב (ahv) as its root word. Ahv, you may remember if you read my previous post, refers to emotion. Thus, the love that is spoken of in this verse is a more generalized affection, rather than one of the specific kinds of love referenced by the other words. However, while studying the usage of ahv in the Old Testament, I noticed something interesting about ahavata: it is often used in the context of love within a hierarchy, where the person feeling the love would be considered inferior in some way to the object of their love.¹ An example of this can be found in 1 Samuel 18:22, when King Saul’s servants are spoken of as loving David. David was in a position of authority and very popular among the people, about to become the king’s son-in-law, so he would have been considered above the servants in the social hierarchy.

Why does that matter? I’m not an expert on languages, but just from observation, I can tell you that as language develops over time, the meanings of words can change depending on how they are used. Take the word “hot” for example. Originally used to denote temperature, now it is also used to describe how attractive a person is. Therefore, it is reasonable to assume that the use of ahavata in such a context has impacted its meaning, and the use of this word is meant to imply the love of an “inferior” to a “superior.” With that in mind, the message of Leviticus 19:18 goes deeper than merely loving others the same way you love yourself; we are instead being told to love our neighbors as if they are above us in some way.

Oftentimes, those who are higher in the social hierarchy in some way receive different treatment than those who are lower. An example that comes to mind is traveling via airplane; in my experience, those in first class receive special perks, like having more legroom and more comfortable seating. If we are loving our neighbors better than we love ourselves, we cannot simply treat them as we would want to be treated; that implies equality, and they need to be placed above us. We must treat them better than we would want to be treated.

“But,” I hear someone saying, “didn’t you say that hesed is the ‘love in action’ word? And ahv words are about emotions? So how can you tell me that ahavata has anything to do with actions?”

Let me explain.

When you have feelings of love towards someone, how do you treat them, and how does that contrast with how you treat those you do not love? For most people, I think the answer is that there is indeed a difference; it’s human nature to respond more positively towards those who you feel more positively about. Oftentimes, a person will go above and beyond for someone they love, and do things for them that they otherwise would not do. The implication of the use of an ahv word, which is about emotions, is that you are to treat your neighbors as though you have positive feelings towards them, which agrees with the idea that you are to treat them better than how you would treat yourself.

Of course, that is harder to do when you do not have said positive feelings towards someone. Affection, positive feelings in general, can be encouraged and may increase over time, but generally speaking, they can’t be controlled; most, if not all, people can’t just decide to feel a certain way, and instantly do so. But even if there are no positive feelings, and even if you disregard the implications related to a hierarchical love, that doesn’t mean there is no obligation to treat others as if these things exist. Remember the first part of Leviticus 19:18? “You shall not take vengeance, nor hold any grudge against the sons of your people.” There is an implication of a certain standard of behavior that must be upheld; even when wronged, even when you have something against someone, you will not act upon it.

Easier said than done, you might be thinking, and I agree with you, it is hard to treat others better than yourself when you feel like they don’t deserve it. But that is where a relationship with God comes in; it transforms you and makes you capable of things you once thought impossible. Such as kindness towards someone you don’t particularly want to be kind to.

1. Francis Brown, S.R. Driver, and C.A. Briggs. “אהב,” in The BDB. (Peabody, Ma: Hendrickson, 2003), 12. ↩︎